March 18, 2010

The Continuing Story of Zach's March Madness Picks, even though its already started.

So lets make this brief.

#1 Totally screwed by Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, and Marquette so far. But I'm still going to keep those picks up here, because I'm not going back on what I said.
#2 ANd who said Ohio couldn't beat Georgetown? You all laughed at me, but I picked it.
#3 Obama and I had the same final four until I decided to swap Syracuse for Kansas St., was it correct? Will Kansas St. lead to SOCIALISM? Who knows, I'm just throwing these things out here.


Duke vs. Whoever Wins
These are by far the worst games in the Tourny and they only do them so that there's a 65th team in the bracket, which is garbage. No point in picking them.

Cal vs. Louisville
I'm predicting a win here for Louisville, especially if they're allowed to use their baseball bats.
PREDICTION: Louisville.

Texas A&M vs. Utah St.
I've picked against the Mormons already (and it proved to be wrong), but I've got to win at least one over those Mormons!

Purdue vs. Siena
Although I'm pretty sure "Boilermaker" is barely a thing, if a thing at all, it still sounds kind of intimidating. If this was an episode of CSI Miami I'd be David Caruso saying something like this
"I Predict Siena will get... (glasses on) Burnt."

Notre Dame vs. O Dominion
So what if they lost? I'm still going to pick them, because I picked them before and I'm not giving up on my Irish.

Baylor against... whatever they won
PREDICTION: I picked them and they won, so lets move on.

Same things with St. Mary's

And Nova

Same deal with Kentucky

Picked Texas because I like the city of Austin, they lost to Wake Forest

Temple vs. Cornell
I've got some friends at both of these places. But do you know what Cornell doesn't have? Bill Cosby as an alumni. Also, if Cornell loses, [insert tasteless campus suicide rate joke here]

Wisconsin vs. Wofford
If March Madness was about having the most ridiculous name, Wofford would totally make the Final Four, and probably be champion. Also, their mascot is a Boston Terrier which make sense if you were one of the hundred or so schools in the Boston area and didn't want to sound intimidating. But in fact, they are South Carolina. Stupid name, stupid mascot. Fuck Wofford.

Marquette vs. Washington
I'm not sure how Marquette lost this one. Their name is awesome. It's sounds like a dazzling Frenchman who fight along side Enjolras and Marius. Ugh... but alas, I picked them for the Sweet 16.
PREDICTION: *gulp*... Marquette

New Mexico vs. Montana
Montana has a shot, maybe if they are in NCAA tournament for Dental Floss Raising. Otherwise, New Mexico's got this one in the bag. (and they won!)

Clemson vs. Missouri
So two teams with Tiger mascots are facing off. Clemson's is just named "The Tiger", which is lame. Mizzou is Truman the Tiger. Harry S. or Capote? Who knows, but either way it's better than "The Tiger". You can't name your mascot that when its probably the most used mascot in college sports.

West Virginia vs. Morgan St.
Murray State screwed me over already, and I don't expect two states that are actually just someones name and not real states to do that, so I've got to go with West Virginia.
PREDICTION: West Virginia

Round 2
Duke vs. Louisville
As anyone who has ever been on could tell you, Duke sucks. And in the past I've done pretty well for myself betting against Duke. That trend continues here.
PREDICTION: Louisville

Texas A&M vs. Purdue
For that one year in my life that I was really into College Football I liked Drew Brees so I liked Purdue. For some reason that stuck with me, and now I got them into the second round, but I'm saying no further, because I dont' really have a reason to pick them.

"Notre Dame" vs. Baylor
Come on, just because they lost in the first round you expect them to be out? Would that have stopped Rudy?

St. Marys vs. Villanova
This is the only Round 2 Matchup I get to predict knowing that I got it right. St. Mary's just sounds too wimpy to win anything. They have "Mary" in their name. Villanova has "Nova" in their name, which is always awesome. As in Supernova. BOOM!

Kentucky vs. Texas
Yeah Texas already lost, but I don't think Wake Forest can beat Kentucky. I don't even know what Wake Forest is. It sounds like a wooded area where all the flora and fauna were given meth.

Temple vs. Wisconsin
I'm gonna push Temple one further, because I've got a good friend, Vanessa, who goes there. So basically its getting the same treatment Maryland got.

Marquette vs. New Mexico
Yeah screw this, I lost this one, and I'm not going to defend it anymore. I had Marquette over New Mexico. I guess my Les Mis reference from the previous Marquette entry makes me look even sillier, since ya know, they all died and didn't win.
PREDICTION: Doesn't matter.

Missouri vs. West Virginia
West Virginia's mascot is the Mountaineers. That may be the most accurate mascot of all time. Can't pick against accuracy.
PREDICTION: West Virginia

Sweet Sixteen
Louisville vs. Texas A&M
Texas A&M has no motto, which is weak. But Louisville's motto is "It's happening here". Thats not a college motto, that's an Applebee's slogan. So when A&M was weak, Louisville just punched itself in the face with that motto.

Villanova vs. Notre Dame
Finally, here comes a point where I did not pick Notre Dame. I went with Bossa Nova on this one.

Kentucky vs. Temple
I don't know if there are any Temples in Kentucky, but I'm sure there are quite a few people in Kentucky who'd like to burn some Temples down.

West Virginia vs. The Mutilated Corpse of Marquette
Prediction: West Virginia

Texas A&M vs. Villanova
You know Texas is changing it's history books right now to some wacked out shit? Seriously, look it up. Nova, on the other hand, has always been a valid source for scientific information, Sunday nights on PBS. Hooray PBS!

Kentucky vs. West Virginia
Kentucky is also known as UK, so if they're lucky people can think they're British. West Virginia is WVU so no matter what, they can't escape the fact that they're from West Virginia.

And now....

Kansas vs. Syracuse
I determined long ago that I would not allow a southern/midwest team to win, which is why there are two Northeast teams in my Final Four. Kansas, you're going down.

Villanova vs. Kentucky
Okay, so you know how in movies and television shows whenever theres a tournament, the hero and his friend always make it to the final four, but since they can't fight each other in the finals, the friend gets taken out in the semi-finals by a bad guy, who usually cheats anyway, so that the hero can really kick his ass in the finals? Yeah thats whats going to happen here.
PREDICTION: Kentucky wins

THE FINAL: Syracuse vs. Kentucky
Okay, here's the part where Syracuse wins.

SO yeah, thats what I have to say. For those wondering how I'm doing, I have 26 points and in 8th out of 38.

The guy currently in first is absolutely killing. But he picked Wofford to go the Sweet 16, so he's obviously got no shot.

No comments:

Post a Comment