August 21, 2009

Zach Talks About Something He Doesn't Know About: Fashion

It's my thing to talk about things I don't know about, because frankly life isn't fun if I'm not pretending to know things.

If you follow her posts, you know that Kimya is a fashion genius, and I can pick up a few tips here and there. (By tips, I mean if she tells me to wear something I will, because what the hell do I know?) Still, there are a few things I know about fashion that I will share with you.

Fashion Don't: White Socks with Non-casual attire.
This is my favorite because I see people ignore this one all of the time, but I know better. It's one of those few fashion faux pas that I feel uncomfortable if I'm doing, because I feel like if I'm going to dress up more than I regularly do, I don't want to give off the impression that I'm that fashionably inept(though I am), and also white athletic socks give off a different impression when they stand out like that, mainly that I'm such an athlete I need to have proper socks for it at all times, which is totally untrue.

Is there a way to pull it off? Well #1, the thing I never got from it is what makes the white socks a no, the black pants or the black shoes? Because I feel like you can get by with white socks if you're wearing Black Pants and Sneakers or if you're wearing black shoes and jeans, so maybe its the culmination. I dunno. But I feel like you can wear the white socks if you're going for some sort of theme. Like if you're wearing a white shirt, black pants, white socks black shoes, white hat, black gloves and a white belt. But that's a lot to go through in order to not take off your Addidas socks.

Fashion Don't: Loud Hawaiian Shirts

I could dedicate a blogpost to this man's moustache
You might this shirt says "I Like to Party" but it really says "I'm so boxed in by my society and corporate level job that I this loud shirt is the only thing I can do to to rebel against my own life, which I hate". Also, this might be the worst bastardization of another culture, because I'm pretty sure no native Hawaiians would be caught dead in a Hawaiian shirt.

Is there a way to pull it off? You can be a total hipster about it. I think loud Hawaiian shirts are even better than ironically ugly sweaters.

"I liked your favorite band before they went commercial"

Fashion Don't: Anything denim that is not pants.
Denim shirts are lame. I know my dad would disagree with me on this one, but I could probably also put "Anything my dad wears" as a category on here. Denim is a tough heavy material, but if you're saying that you are so rugged and badass you need more than just pants made of denim, you are clearly trying too hard.

Is there any way to pull it off? Like I said, my dad disagrees with me on this one, so I guess paying for my college... that's the way to pull off denim shirts.

Fashion Don't: White After Labor Day
I don't really know much about this, and I'm fairly certain it doesn't even apply any more, because we figured out how to make white work after Labor Day I guess?

Is there any way to pull it off?It doesn't really say when it's okay to wear white again. I mean, clearly it isn't okay to start wearing white again the week after Labor Day, but you still need to make sure there's enough time to wear white. One can only assume though, since white is off limits after some three day weekend, I think it would have to be wearable again after a three day weekend. So I'm saying that after MLK Day it's alright to be white... I mean wear white.

Thanks for reading,

- Tim Gunn


  1. Hahahahaha, my favorite one is the "Hawaiian shirts are even better than ironically ugly sweaters." Well done, Zach.

    Sam Tang

  2. Thank you. I like your content. Very nice